Wham! Bam! Thank You Spam!
By Joe Myna

Once upon a time, e-mail messages flowed freely through cyberspace and the congenial smell of e-mails was everywhere. I remember racing to my inbox each day with a wild anticipation that I was about to be informed of new and enlightening events, along with notes from friends. Maybe, the collection would also include an order or two to quell my monetary wishes, as well as, containing some of my favorite newsletters. Ah! Those were the salad days...when my inbox was a welcome sight each morning. Oh, of course there was that occasional sales pitch, but that was just to keep me alert.

But alas, those were days of yore.

Today we are drowning in a deepening cascade of rubbish, as a result of unsolicited e-mails irritatingly referred to as "Spam." "Spam" is a term contrived in a parody a few years back by an English group of comedians (Monty Python's Flying Circus), describing a food product (Spam) exploited in a humorous manner.

While this form of e-mail sludge (Spam) is far from a laughing matter, the irrational reaction to it by some is itself fraught with calamity. If we were simply confronted with this daily deluge of these unwanted emails, that would be annoying enough. However, what is now occurring is far worse! In fact, it’s really scary.

Part of this chaos springs from the fact that there in no clear cut definition to everyone of just what comprises this thing we term SPAM! Further, nothing explains, nor excuses the destructively paranoid reactions of some to this proliferation of spam plaguing us now.

On one hand there are the saintly IP's, installing what is loosely described as "Anti-Spam" software, which I must admit does accomplish two things.Those being the purging of many needed emails, while taking no notice of, most of the porn and sludge. Yet the real damage comes from the growing number of self-appointed ‘crusaders’ ('e-mail Nazi') that inhabit the Internet. They take it upon themselves to police the net vowing to squash any unsuspecting spammer.

These "Not in my inbox" nerds, suffering from delusions of importance, mistakenly harass the IP's of honest marketers and purveyors of newsletters. In fact, many a website has been shut down as the result of a false accusation of spamming. Often, the accusation is all it takes today, due to the hysteria prevalent on the Web, along with the growing fixations of many hosting companies. These spiteful actions have indeed caused devastating financial harm and damage to the reputations of many well known and blameless Internet pioneers.

A few states have enacted legislation against spam, but they still can't define it. The U.S. congress has also mentioned some sort of a bill, but is bogged down with, things more important. Such as, which luxuries to pass new taxes on – like food, cars, etc.

Once congress settles on a definition of this phenomenon and passes a new law, you can count on the spammers to really come out of the woodwork along with their lawyers.

They could sue for obesity to inboxes!

As for me, I long for the days when I can once again utter, "Don't you just love the smell of email in the air!"